It is part of my reflections that, we, as humans part of this society, only rarely ever feel autonomous.
Without needing to immerse into subjects too political, it has become apparent to me how little of my life I have chosen for myself. When I enter grocery shops or apothecaries or even boutiques, I am but obliged to ‘enjoy’ something displayed. Everyone buys here, why shouldn’t I?
It is no secret, the contrived needs of our environments, but what does spark question marks, leaves me flabbergasted, and oddly at awe, is our nonchalance about dealing with these desires made for us. What is defined today might not be true tomorrow, but for the time being we should take truth to today until tomorrow comes. Flowing with the go. Going with the flow. I feel like I’m throwing phrases out to start a band.
From what I have seemed to experience, I see this dichotomy of parties — they’re either all in or all out. You’re either flowing with your people or you’re driving away. I can’t seem to put my finger on a “correct” way of life here, but living a way that makes me happy sounds like a good start.
I teach at a private school, where most families have enough money to travel out of the country two three times a year. These kids have been exposed to diversities and identities. The world is their oyster, as they say! But it boggles me, how identity-less they all seem to be.
At the beginning of the year we were breaking ice with some of our students, asking them if they had a pet or cared for a plant — no one had a thing. And if they owned a dog, it was the housekeeper who took the animal out for walks and jogs. They were completely disconnected from personal identification and instead submerged into the waters of pop culture. Who’s got the latest ear pods? Did you see those amazing shoes? What’s going on with that last episode on Netflix?!
All the same conversations and all the same stores and all the same holiday destinations. Everyone’s at the beach for summer, winter, spring and fall. Everyone’s on instagram, everyone’s sharing everything on Facebook.
It’s a disaster. Not because they are engaged in these activities, but because it seems they cannot see any other ones. It is almost as though no other option exists except for doing these things.
If anyone finds out I don’t really connect on social media they make an alien out of me. They cannot believe my “defiance” to the virtual nature.
Now, I feel that from what I’ve expressed, that I am that defier from current reality — I’m really not. But I am baffled at how much and how often these matters flow unheeded.
Anyways, I do not write just to emit negativity — I am finding graded improvements that have slowly helped me autonomize on my own life goals and desires. That I live a life I choose at the same pace my environment is moving is more significant to me than completely abandoning all I know for grains of sand I cannot survive in.
Pop culture isn’t bad to me, it is just too impactful on my identity that I would like to create myself. And so my family and I began our own mini-garden in our balcony. We brew our herbs, use them on savory dishes, sometimes use them medicinally, and self-suffice that luxury in our lives from a few plants instead of from a store. It’s little, but it’s beautiful. It really is.
Now I know, they’re just a few green things sitting in pots in a balcony, but deep down, they are seeds to an identity shaping itself to adaptation and self satisfaction, so that it does everything everyone else does, just a little less.
Here’s a few glances at what we’ve been able to get so far. So therapeutic. So beautiful.